Too Soon: RIP WTS

On a warm, muggy night in the summer of 2005 I said goodbye to a classmate of mine, Tyler Short. He was making the rounds, like most of us did, before shipping off to college, full of as much promise as anyone could ask. And I’ll be honest, I was a little surprised Tyler contacted me. We were good acquaintances. Shared a lot of jokes as members of Trinity’s AP program. But that was about it. 

Tyler actually had a couple of little cigars for us to partake that evening (it’s ok to indulge every now and again). He met up with me at the Smokey Bones on Hurstbourne Ln. where I worked, and we just chilled in the parking lot after my shift, talking mostly about life. I could tell he was excited about going to Dayton, but he was also really nervous. The promise of the coming years is as nerve-racking as it is exhilarating. I better understood how he felt a few weeks later when I ventured away. I suddenly realized in that moment how much Tyler and I had in common; I wondered why we weren’t better friends those four years at Trinity. According to him, though, we were. He said some kind words to me that night that I’ll never forget, and will always be just between us. 

Tyler, whose full name is William Tyler Short, died Saturday in Covington, KY. He was 24 years old, just one month from finishing up grad school at the University of Cincinnati School of Law. I never saw nor spoke to him after that summer night in 2005. And yet, when I heard about his death tonight, it unexpectedly punched me in the gut. Sadly, several classmates from our Class of ’05 have passed away. Out of all them, I knew Tyler best. 

He was super bright. One of the smartest guys I knew, probably because he wasn’t just book smart like a lot of high school kids. He had street smarts too. He understood people. He knew how the world worked. He got it. Guys like him (or I could say us) seem invincible sometimes. We’ve been blessed with so many gifts, including natural ability, a loving family and tremendous opportunities. 

So when you get news like this, your mind races. How did this happen? Suicide? Out of the question. Car accident? Not this time. Crazy Saturday night? Not at all. Tyler died from an undetected heart condition, according to his obituary in the Courier-Journal. 

On Friday, April 13, he made a Facebook post at 10:30 in the morning. No one, not even Tyler, had an inkling he had one day left to live. It is extremely sad, scary and even more difficult to understand. I will be thinking and praying for all those that knew him best, especially tomorrow during the funeral service.

 I don’t want to get into existentialism at the moment (perhaps another blog). I just want to say that I know Tyler lived a full 24+ years, better than most. I hope more than anything the concept of Heaven and meeting up with loved ones is true; this way Tyler is with his mom, watching over us with his good-natured wit and intelligence, the two qualities I remember most about him. RIP Tyler. Class of ’05...Brothers For Life. 

Too Many Choices?

Ever been to the Cheesecake Factory? Yeah, I was dragged there for a girl’s birthday party too. Kind of a drag. Did you have a hard time finding something to eat? Their menu, if given a few hours, can be read cover to cover. So I suppose “finding something” doesn’t really make sense. Choosing something fits better.

I think our generation is having similar issues. Everywhere you look, a decision must be made. Our parents, for the most part, didn’t meet quite so many people. Didn’t have quite so many colleges...dates...jobs...opportunities. Is it possible to have too many choices? Two out of three bar stools seem to be occupied by the over-thinker. He/She sits there in constant contemplation. It seems we can sometimes base choices on fear of regret or to please others. In today’s job market, the average person has about a dozen “jobs.” Do all of those fit into the same career? Is this happening out of necessity, or is it more this idea of choice, newness or even boredom? 

A lake buddy of mine, who goes only by the name of Jimmy, always tells us young guys that “life is all about choices.” This wise sage, who lives by the water in the “love hut” and only wears khaki shorts, an open buttoned short sleeve shirt and a straw hat (with a Milwaukee’s Best in hand), has been through hell and back. He has seen it all. Numerous triumphs and too many tragedies. Jimmy is an old soul in every sense of the word, and his advice has always stayed with us. 

The best we can do is look at all our options and follow our gut. Make the best choice possible and move on. Don’t look back. Spending too much time analyzing all the what-ifs can drive anyone crazy. 

A classic song by John Mayer (http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/john-mayer-lyrics/why-georgia-lyrics.html) titled Why Georgia sums up the “quarter-life crisis” pretty well. Mayer says he still wonders about the outcome of a verdict less life, and is he living it right? The typical twenty-something peers into the heart of this question much like a contemplating Cheesecake customer. Where am I going?

So what do we do about it? Write bellyaching blogs, duh! But also, I think we just do what feels the most right. There is almost always a little tug if you’re listening. Nothing is 100%. Ever. We make choices and we live with them; we learn from them, and we try to have some fun along the way. After all, you can only stare at the menu for so long...